Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
