the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
