I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
