I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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