so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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