You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
