Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
