Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
