Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
