Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
