I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
