In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
