Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
