we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
