I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
