Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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