I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Randomize
