I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
