her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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