I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
