____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
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