Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
