You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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