Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
