So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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