a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
