am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
