Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
