guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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