we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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