No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it hurts more in the daytime
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
