I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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