at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
