Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
