when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Buhtt sex?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
