I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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