Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
