New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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