My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
