I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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