went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I could make wine with my vomit
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
