i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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