I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
