Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
