Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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