maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
