Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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