then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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