Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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