Someone shit on the floor
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
