It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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