just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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