another moral hangover. fuck.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
