**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
