I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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