I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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