If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
