how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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