i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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