Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
That's intense
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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