At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
is wine microwaveable?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
