It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
