she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
