I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
