You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
